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Joke of the Day

"[Haunted House] Ghost:You've been here a week Me: I like you G:You knew what this was M: I thought I was your boo G: I say that to everyone"

"Okay stranger, it's clear that we walk at the exact same pace, speed up or at least hold my hand."

"[Date] ""I'm going to use the restroom *leans over table* and I counted my onion rings, there's six."""

"Why did the woman take her third aborted fetus to see the priest on Sunday? Half Life 3 Confirmed!"

"Why are X-wings so grubby? Rebel scum."

"Adblock can't melt Ellen Pao."

"Just saw a license plate that said ""LUV SLUG."" I hope it shrivels up when they salt the roads in the winter."

"I was born with an extra toe halfway down my leg. It's neato."

"Did you hear about the lumberjack who lost his job? They gave him the axe, he just couldn't hack it."

"I fell asleep on a tanning bed... Now I'm out of my grandfather's will"