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Joke of the Day

"A physicist sits down at a bar. What does he order? Ein stein"

"hot dogs were invented in 1936 by Larry Hotdogs when he accidentally dropped a bag of prize-winning pig assholes in his Dick Shaper Machine"

"What do Hutterites do on Halloween? Pump-kin"

"What does a stripper and a Subway sandwich maker have in common? They both prefer to be called ""artists"" instead of what they really are."

"*phone rings* SATAN: Hey I bought your soul on Craigslist last week? ME: No returns SATAN: Please. It's making me sad"

"What do you call Venus Williams' collection of Pokemon? The 'mons of Venus."

"[texting gf] February 13th ""I think we should spend some time apart"" February 15th ""Ok that was enough time"""

"My ultimate dream is to move back home, open up a bar and run it with all of my friends, and then burn it down for the insurance money"

"Wife Wanted! A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: ""Wife wanted"". Next day he received hundred of letters. They all said the same thing: [""You can have mine.""](/spoiler)"

"I'll be a millionaire once I'm done making this device that lets you punch people in the face over the internet."