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Joke of the Day

"I was recently in a museum in Europe So much Picasso I wanted to Pablow my brains out"

"I like my ex's like I like my coffee... Ground up and in the freezer"

"if you can cow boy lasso something inside a store and pull it outside to where you are you get it for free"

"What do a UT Austin student and a Texas A&M student have in common? They both applied to UT Austin"

"In wartime, it's so often the most vulnerable who get forgotten. Someone needs to kill them too."

"It's a good thing Harambe got shot.... Dicks out for dead kids just doesn't sound good"

"How does an Apple Watch owner know that it's midday? It's already run out of battery."

"[at seance] Me: If you truly are a ghost why don't you move this object Ghost: If you truly are a human why don't you get your shit together"

"What do you call a Mexican that lives in Maine? an L.L.Beaner"

"Sometimes when I get a compliment I stop, moonwalk out of the room and yell ""Thank You ""just to leave them hanging."