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Joke of the Day

"My wife is so stupid... She thought that I was a racist because I separated my whites from my colors."

"I actually don't really hate anybody at all except for Oprah,David spade, Kevin James, the mom from the Berenstain Bears, Sheryl Crow, Kevin"

"[mall] Wife: Wait here. Me: Okay. Wife: Hold my purse. Me: Yes, ma'am. *looks in purse* *waves at testicles* Me: *sigh* I miss you guys!"

"I actually like the smell of moth balls, but it's so hard to hold them still without hurting their little wings."

"You want to hear the best joke ever? Repost"

"What's the best way to turn a pussy into a dick? Give it a badge."

"In my first job, I had to proofread tampon box instructions. Grammar was good, but it was clear that they had no idea how a period works."

"He was the best human cannonball the circus ever had. You seldom meet a man of his caliber."

"I turned my hobby into a job - George, Gynecologist"

"Told my pregnant boss this: Is it OK for you to drink while pregnant... if you're gonna give the baby up for adoption? She laughed at least. But I no longer work there"