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Joke of the Day

"if u think ur house is haunted get a cat. whooshing sound? it's the cat. hear footsteps? def the cat. unseen being devouring your soul? cat."

Next Joke
 
"A U2 album so shitty, even Android won't give it out for free."
"When I'm CEO of Subway, employees will no longer be called ""sandwich artists."" They will be ""sub humans."""
"Damn girl I like the way you constantly change your profile pic to the one good picture of you from 2008."
"A German underwear company has released a new line of Bra... They call it... ""Stoppinzam-Fromfloppin"""
"I just saw a hot mom at McDonalds spank her kid after he threw his fries on the ground ...so I threw my fries on the ground too."
"After working for 24 hours straight... I called it a day."
"What's a feminist's least favorite food? Gender rolls"
"If I was on death row I'd request my own heart as my last meal. But they wouldn't be able to extract it til they killed me: Catch 22. I walk"
"Lying in bed, my girlfriend turned to me and said ""You're a lot like a math exam."" I replied ""Why? Because I'm long and hard?"" She said, ""No, I'm cheating on you with an Asian."""