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Joke of the Day

"Damn girl I like the way you constantly change your profile pic to the one good picture of you from 2008."

"I was making out with my girlfriend in my car when she said ""OOH DARMOK!! KISS ME DOWN WHERE IT SMELLS!"" ...so I drove her to New Jersey."

"[NSFW] Useless things Q: What are the most useless items ever invented? A: Condoms. If you need one, she's too old."

"How many hairs are in a dog's tail? None. They are all on the outside."

"Why is Nicolas Cage's radio so loud? He doesn't know how to turn things down"

"C:\Documents\Work\Projects\Important\Confidential\Drawings Of Me Saving Steve Irwin From That Stingray\Clothed\ThankfulSteve74.jpg"

"How did Harry Potter get down the hill? He walked. J.K................... Rowling"

"Why do historians say Hitler was a great mathematician? He could always find the final solution"

"Bad joke Look in the mirror and see the biggest joke ever... that's what my mom said"

"I've been volunteering a lot with the hearing impaired lately: I couldn't care less about them as a group, but it's the only way to find a girlfriend who is completely mute."