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Joke of the Day

"I just saw a hot mom at McDonalds spank her kid after he threw his fries on the ground ...so I threw my fries on the ground too."

"#1: How do blind people know when to stop wiping?"

"What stops rape every time? Consent."

"What did the Dalai Llama play on stage at Glastonbury? Yakmanninov"

"Being in a nudist colony probably takes all the fun out of Halloween."

"I'm not sure where Heisenberg is... But I know he's not with Pauli."

"Sometimes it seems like I'm married to my own liver I only abuse it when I'm drinking"

"What do you get when you combine a black guy and an octopus? nobody knows actually but it will be perfect for picking cotton."

"*takes out one earbud* ""not guilty, your honor"""

"The Scots are updating the perception of traditional Scottish fare. Oatmeal porridge will now be known as a Highland Smoothie."