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Joke of the Day

"When I'm CEO of Subway, employees will no longer be called ""sandwich artists."" They will be ""sub humans."""

"What kind of water do ducks drink? Bottled Waddle."

"Want to hear a joke about Hillary Clinton's emails? [deleted]"

"Girls that don't care about size are just shallow."

"What does a lawyer and a prostitute have in common? They both fuck you for your money."

"What did the farming professor say to his new students? ""Welcome to my field."""

"What's long and hard every time you wake up? Getting out of bed. You never feel like it making hard to get up and you usually take a long time to."

"How many ants does it take to fill an apartment? tenants."

"If you can't spell a word...what do you do? Find the locution"

"""We are the 1%!"" - People on MySpace"