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Joke of the Day

"I didn't get that job I wanted testing invisibility potions. Apparently they don't hire blind people."

"Please Turn Off The Computer Dad's writes on son's facebook wall: Dear Son, how are you? All are fine here. We miss you a lot. Please turn off the computer and come down for dinner."

"Someone once asked me if I was drunk. I said yes. That was the shortest job interview I've ever had."

"Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven's odd."

"What does a chef say after he prays before a meal? Lett-Uce eat!!!!"

"How many more times are my kids going to ask me if I know where something is before they realize they're asking the wrong parent?"

"HR: Do you use the visualization exercises from the anger management class? Me: Yes, I picture a swarm of bees attacking co-workers."

"If a tree falls on your wife, and no one is around to hear it, does it make a sound? The real question is... why the hell was there a tree in your kitchen?"

"Do you ever think Mr. Whole is sick of tourism ads targeting his family?"

"Why Are Germans Buried 20 Feet Underground? Because deep down they're real nice"