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Joke of the Day

"Why didn't the Duke of Windsor let his French servant help him tie his tie? He never does it with a four-in (foreign)-hand."

"How can you tell vampirism is a disease? On account of the coffin."

"A boy was snapping rubber bands on his friends arm He kept doing it in the same spot every second, over and over again until the friend eventually said, ""Ouch, that one Hertz."""

"I have to make a best man's speech at my brother's wedding next month. I need a few jokes to liven up my speech. Any ideas?"

"Before you say you ""value my opinion,"" just know if a genie granted me 3 wishes, one of them would be to star in Sister Act 3."

"What do you get when you stick your hand in a blender? a handshake"

"Don't walk around the city at night with a lot of bread in your pocket. You might get rolled."

"As a janitor, you wouldn't believe the shit I have to clean up. http://m.imgur.com/cjYphZQ"

"""PARTY FOWL"" someone yelled as the drunk duck did another keg stand"

"Blind Date I went on a blind date once. It wasn't a good time because the dog kept getting in the way."