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Joke of the Day

"Blind Date I went on a blind date once. It wasn't a good time because the dog kept getting in the way."

"What's the difference between The Rolling Stones and a scottish shepard? One says "" Hey you get off my cloud"", and the other says ""Hey McCloud get off my ewe!"""

"I've always been a dog person, but I have never had a close friend that was a cat person. I just find that cats taste too gamy."

"I think of immigration like I think of sex. It is more fun if everyone comes."

"What would Vincent Van Gogh be if he was a sheep? Lamb Gogh"

"Sure, my bologna has a first name, but he's a stickler for manners so he insists we still call him Mr. Bologna."

"What's the difference between a Priest and Pimples? Pimples don't come on your face until you're at least 13."

"What letter appears most frequently in the word CANADA?"

"Her: Are you okay? Me: Yea, Great! This isn't even my blood!"

"Why does a man name his penis? Because he doesn't want a total stranger making 90% of his decisions."