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Joke of the Day

"Blind Date I went on a blind date once. It wasn't a good time because the dog kept getting in the way."

"How to describe Mitt Romney in two sentences. I stand by what I said, whatever it is that I said. I deny saying that, whatever it is that I said."

"An African athlete has been banned from the Commonwealth Games after testing positive to a performance enhancing substance.' ....Food."

"I like to wipe my ass like I drive. Stopping only on red."

"Why are gay men so well dressed? ~~7~~ They didn't spend all that time in the *closet* doing nothing!"

"Did you hear about the Mexican that was shot on the golf course? There was a hole in Juan."

"*drinking my first beer with my dad* ""I can't believe you made me eat the other ones"""

"I know a guy who is addicted to brake fluid. He insists he can stop at anytime."

"What did the porn actress say when she opened the door? Make sure to come upstairs."

"A blessing It is a blessing to hear ""Jesus loves you."" In an American prison, but in a Mexican prison... Oh boy."