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Joke of the Day

"This haunted house sucks. It's just people sitting in cubicles under fluorescent lights looking sad. Wait, this is real life? NOOOOOOOOOO!"

"OK I GOT TO THE BOTTOM OF THIS WHOLE HILLARY EMAILS THING. TURNS OUT THEYRE LIKE A FAST KIND OF MAIL THAT GOES IN THE COMPUTER."

"Wanna hear something fucked up? When you find your dads wedding ring in your sister..."

"Don't forget how much dust you're inhaling all the time everywhere."

"Did you hear about the plastic surgeon that hung himself?"

"What did the earwig say as it fell down the stairs ? Ear we go !"

"How many skaters does it take to change a lightbulb? One, but it will take 13 attempts."

"My neighbor with the Confederate flag is harmless after all. He just drove off in the cutest little ghost costume."

"Spice Girls really missed out when they wouldn't let that girl Pumpkin be in the group"

"How does the Easter Bunny stay healthy? Eggsercise particularly hareobics!"