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Joke of the Day

"How many skaters does it take to change a lightbulb? One, but it will take 13 attempts."

"Tea makes everything great,even meth. Cos without T,meth is just meh."

"What do you call an old barometer? Weathered."

"""Doctor I'm invisible!"" ""I'm sorry sir. I can't see you right now"""

"What do robots dip in salsa? Microchips"

"Getting married lost its appeal as soon as I figured out that acquiring a maid of honor wasn't going to get my floors washed."

"Please stay on the line. Your call is important to us. We think we might be in love with your call. We made your call a mix tape."

"My wife phoned me, panting and breathless. ""Where are you?"" she moaned. ""I'm at the pub."" I replied. She said, ""I think the baby's coming!"" I said, ""Well, he won't get in. He's underage."""

"Ladies: We barely pay attention when you are speaking directly AT us. What makes you think we will pick up on a subtweet?"

"My wife went ape-shit when she caught me doing shots with her sister. She knew we were doing them, she just never realized they were cum shots."