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Joke of the Day

"Why did Steve Harvey announce Miss Colombia as the Miss Universe winner? Because he couldn't pronounce Miss Philippines."

"I thought about starting a support group for pessimists... ...but why bother, it's not like it'd make any difference anyway..."

"What did the hotel manager say to the elephant that couldn't pay his bill ? ""Pack your trunk and clear out !"""

"You know you have a struggle of being a Vietnamese When your first name is Dat, last name is Ho and the teachers call the whole thing out"

"Does putting ketchup on everything affect your credit score?"

"What do they do with Tickle-Me-Elmo's before he leaves the factory? Give him a couple of test-tickles."

"Patron: Hey there's a fly in my soup! Waiter: Why are you complaining? Isn't it cooked?"

"I just fell through the roof of a French bakery I'm in a world of pain."

"Don't you hate people that answer their own questions? I do."

"A woman stumbles into the police headquarters....... And says ""Help me! I was raped by an Irishman!"" The police are quick to ask ""How do you know it was an Irishman?"" ""because I had to help him....."""