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Joke of the Day

"A woman stumbles into the police headquarters....... And says ""Help me! I was raped by an Irishman!"" The police are quick to ask ""How do you know it was an Irishman?"" ""because I had to help him....."""

Next Joke
 
"Therapist: resentment is like drinking poison in the vain hope it makes your enemies sick Me: not if I'm banking on them eating my body"
"Hey couples on Facebook that share an account, so which one of you got caught having an affair?"
"Like my therapist always says, ""I'm not your therapist, you're just laying on a couch in Ikea"""
"There are rumours big Canadian banks Scotia and TD may merge... giving Canada one giant STD"
"So I downloaded a drawing program from the PirateBay the other day... ...it was pretty sketchy."
"Before I destroy a wasp's nest I like to capture a single wasp and tell it my entire diabolical plan."
"There was a homeless guy walking down my street.. I was gonna give him a few bucks but his sign said: ""ONE DAY IT MIGHT BE YOU"". I put the money back in my pocket just in case he's right."
"What does a Polish woman and a hockey team have in common? They both change their pads after three periods."
"What do you call gay potatoes? Homofries!"