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Joke of the Day

"A woman stumbles into the police headquarters....... And says ""Help me! I was raped by an Irishman!"" The police are quick to ask ""How do you know it was an Irishman?"" ""because I had to help him....."""

"How do you cut off a redneck's dick? Kick his sister in the jaw"

"No mushrooms, no chives. Bob Marley ordering a pizza."

"A pirate walks into a bar With a ships wheel on his belt. The bartender asks, ""What's the wheel for?"" The pirate replies, ""Arrr it's drivin me nuts!"""

"If you don't come to my funeral, then I won't go."

"WHERE MY INTROVERTS AT? [a few people shuffle their feet & pretend to check their phones]"

"What did the Nazi doctor tell his fully dilated patient.? Just one more putsch."

"why did the scarecrow get a promotion? he was out-standing in his field."

"What did the rapper ask the pet sitter when he got back from vacation? Where my dogs at?"

"What do you say if your mom sees you having sex? You say: Look mom, no hands!"