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Joke of the Day

"""911, what is your emergency?"" I got stuck in a beaded curtain ""Again?"" SEND HELP"

"Mr. Tripler, your U.S. Patent request for ""YO I WANNA PATENT MY NEIGHBORS CAT MORPHEUS SO HE MINE NOW"" has been declined."

"[barber shop] BARBER: what can we do for you today? MEDUSA: well.. [removes hat] BARBER: MEDUSA: BARBER: so do you want more or less snakes?"

"3 am phone call, ""Hey, are you asleep?"" Nope, Im skydiving."

"""You the bomb."" ""No, you the bomb."" In America, a compliment. In the Middle East, an argument."

"I didn't think my golf joke was that good, but everyone kept assuring me it was subpar."

"""Oh yeah, let's run to the hills. That sounds like a great idea."" -Ironic Maiden"

"I bet unscary monsters like to hang out at the back of marathons and imagine all the athletes are running from them."

"So a realtor is passing out information for a house as potential buyers are walking in at an Open House A guy says ""Hey, can I see one of those pamphlets?"" The realtor says ""Brochure"""

"What's Piccolo's preferred type of car? DODGE!!!"