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Joke of the Day
"I like turntablism. Some of the samples really speak to me."
Next Joke
"Why does the baker have so many loaves? Because they bred."
"Did you hear about the guy that had mountains for legs? He also had a Pyrenees!"
"Toys to Africa Stop sending toys to children in Africa. It's gotta be depressing, getting a Tamagotchi that will outlive you."
"What do you call a Mexican knight? The Chosen Juan."
"[funeral] ME: I never know what to say at these things. WIDOW: sorry for your loss. ME: it's ok, I'm sure I'll think of something."
"I put winks at the end of texts to add a confusing air of creepy. ""Making breakfast. ;)"" ""Walking the dog. ;)"" ""Broke in to your house ;)"""
"Ugh, I'm still writing 2009 on all my ransom notes"
"What do Eskimos and Tupperware have in common? They both like a tight seal!"
"Why did the feminist get fired from Panera? Because she ate all the cookies and didn't know how to make a sandwich."