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Joke of the Day

"You're not impressing anyone, people who put a comma before the person's name when wishing them a happy birthday on Facebook"

"Did you hear about how James Bond slept through an earthquake? He was shaken, not stirred."

"A magician's wife gives birth to a long series of brightly colored scarves"

"How do you get Pikachu on a bus? You Pokemon!"

"""Hey Dad, I'm going to the airport. Call me a taxi.' Dad : ""Hi taxi"""

"""I'll sleep when I die"" - person who doesn't really understand sleeping or dying."

"If two vegetarians are fighting... Is it still considered ""beef""?"

"I would never tell a rape joke It would be too forced"

"I've never had a beard before this one and I didnt like it at first. But its really growing on me."

"Best part of Twenty Sever year olds. Theres twenty of them."