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Joke of the Day

"So a vegan sits down at a bar... I only know that because he won't shut the fuck up about it."

"I adopt cats because I can't have any of my own."

"Desperate Need of Good Jokes Basically I've had the shittiest day/month and I could really do with some cheering up. Hit me with your cheesiest and amazingly bad jokes :-)))"

"Just reported a car stolen because the people inside are black and the stick figures on the window were white"

"My girlfriend went to get her test results from the doctor today and it was bad news. He confirmed I'm about to become a husband."

"I always bring in a dozen donuts to work the first day after the New Year, just for my coworkers on a diet."

"I'm glad to see Reddit is so environmentally friendly! Especially /r/jokes. They are full of recycled content!"

"When I get caught smoking in a restaurant, I pretend I'm blind and tell them the cigarette is my seeing eye dog."

"Dating was easier back in the day. Back before the big bang when we were all compressed into one dot"

"I pick and choose the traffic laws I'll follow."