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Joke of the Day

"I always bring in a dozen donuts to work the first day after the New Year, just for my coworkers on a diet."

Next Joke
 
"I just got unfollowed by a woman that just started following me yesterday, so I guess I just had my first one night stand on twitter."
"What is the title of the new Vietnamamese cookbook ? 100 way to wok your dog."
"Told my pregnant boss this: Is it OK for you to drink while pregnant... if you're gonna give the baby up for adoption? She laughed at least. But I no longer work there"
"The best thing about humans is that many of the richest and most prosperous among us collect bottles of rotten grape juice."
"Parents are like future electric cars They can go for years without recharging"
"What did the drug dealer say when he saw the clock. Its 4:20 dude!!! 420 blaze it"
"What do Michelle Obama and the lead singer of The Police have in common? They're both similar to insects! (FLOTUS like a butterfly, Sting like a bee)"
"I think the Netherlands should have a duke rather than a king... [x-post from r/puns] ""The Dutchy of the Netherlands"" has a nice ring to it."
"What is the main position candidate Jim Webb is campaigning on? Debate time reform."