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Joke of the Day

"what's the difference between a normal consumer and a prostitute? A normal consumer aims to get the most bang for their buck. A prostitute aims to get the most buck for their bang."

"And the bartender asks, ""What'll you have?"" A tachyon walks into a bar."

"BIRD IT THROUGH THE GRAPEVINE Did you hear about the man who did it with a parakeet? He contracted chirpes. And the worst thing? It was untweetable."

"What did the boy with no arms get for Christmas? GLOVES! Just kidding, he hasn't opened the box yet"

"Throwing acid is wrong... in some people's eyes"

"If you pee on a cop Urine trouble. (Credit to my bff)"

"Another joke from my daughter Her: Why did Sally fall off the swing? Me: Why? Her: Because she had no arms. Me: ??? Her: Knock knock. Me: Who's there? Her: Not Sally!"

"Spend hours getting screaming baby to sleep. Check on sleeping baby. Can't hear breathing...prod sleeping baby Repeat"

"Naked New Jersey My girlfriend comes up to me naked and says kiss me where it smells. So I drove her to New Jersery"

"Apple have talked about their most recent iPhone recently, The sales team seems to think it was a huge 6s"