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Joke of the Day

"The teacher asked Jimmy ""Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?"" Jimmy replied crying, ""Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"""

"A buddy had a lawn mower accident and died after getting the ends of his feet cut off. Doctors diagnosed him as lack-toes intolerant"

"I hate when people try to make small talk on the elevator. ""How's it going?"", ""How about the weather?"", ""Where are your pants?""."

"Our wedding pic looks like my wife's selfie photo bombed by me."

"5 out of 6 people enjoy playing Russian Roulette."

"Why are Fiat cars named as such? Because they aren't really worth anything. Econ 101 humor."

"I just saw a lit up 'Noel' x-mas decoration on top of a house and noticed the 'L' was missing, so I thought to myself, 'look, there's no L.'"

"Tribbles. [How many tribbles does it take to screw in a light bulb?](http://imgur.com/aTXIs)"

"Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you stole daddys car! Why you steal daddys car?! (chappie joke I stole from youtube)"

"If you ever doubt the value of writers, just follow your favorite actor on Twitter."