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Joke of the Day
"Just found an inch-long hair growing from my earlobe. Does this mean I can finally join the X-Men?"
Next Joke
"What do you get when you combine a Comedian and a Whorehouse? a BROFL"
"I have a friend who's fat, alcoholic, and transvestite. All he does all day long is eat drink and be Mary"
"How to get a job on Game of Thrones: Q: Can you act? A: Sorta Q: Will you get naked? A: Yes HIRED!"
"[snapchat HQ] Boss: anybody got anything good? Guy (who smoked weed instead of working): people with big eyes puking rainbows?"
"Did you hear ISIS blew up their first Italian recruit in a suicide bombing today? They decided to rig a Tony"
"Scientology has spaceships?! Crazy! I'll stick to my guy who parted the sea with his mind."
"Can someone tell Buzz that it's impossible to go beyond infinity, guy's pretty stupid for an astronaut."
"*Tim Burton slams hands on table* WTF DO U MEAN THERE ARE OTHER ACTORS BESIDES JOHNNY DEPP & MY WIFE *turns to Depp* HOW LONG HAVE U KNOWN"
"Why are there so many trees in Harlem? Public Transportation."