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Joke of the Day

"If I ever had a one night stand and the guy texted me the next day and said ""nice to meat you""... I'd marry him."

"""A wine please"" ""Sir, this is McDonalds..."" ""Okay, a McWine please"""

"What do you call a guy who hangs out with a bunch of musicians? A drummer."

"How many Psychoanalysts does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the light bulb and another to hold the penis...I mean ladder."

"Like grandpa always said, 'If you kids don't stop retweeting yourself, you'll go blind.'"

"What's worse? Receiving a text from your girlfriend saying that you're breaking up or receiving a second text after saying that it was supposed to be for someone else?"

"it's about that time of the day when I stop hitting the snooze button, wipe away the drool, open the blinds, and head on home from work."

"Now that Donald Trump having a real shot at the presidency, who is most afraid? Every Juan!"

"My favorite joke [ha ha ha](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Womens_rights)"

"More Wisdom from Confucius Man who goes to bed with itchy butt, usually wakes up with stinky fingers. Man who stands on toilet is high on pot."