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Joke of the Day

"More Wisdom from Confucius Man who goes to bed with itchy butt, usually wakes up with stinky fingers. Man who stands on toilet is high on pot."

"People that whip their seats back on airplanes are almost certainly terrible lovers."

"What does a cobra say to his friends after he kills a mongoose? ""I wasn't scared at all. Without you, I wouldn't even know what a quiver is."""

"People think that in Africa we ride lions and elephants to work. That's ridiculous, we don't have jobs."

"Just calculated my BMI and found out I should be 47ft tall."

"Cop behind me just turned. Best unfollow ever."

"what do you call a Canadian alien? ehh lmao"

"My friend told me he wanted to plant an orchard. I told him to grow a pear."

"What comes after March? April, fools!"

"Outside of a dog, a book is a man's best friends Inside of a dog, it is warm and moist."