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Joke of the Day

"What's green slimy and smells like bacon? Kermit the Frog's finger."

"How long is a pedicure? 2 feet."

"Did you hear the score of the Egypt vs Ethiopia soccer game? Egypt 8, Ethiopia didn't."

"How do you fix a broken tuba? With a tuba glue."

"Stevie Wonder was once asked if there could be anything worse then being blind. To which he replied ""Well... I could have been black""."

"What do you call a cow that had an abortion.... Decalfeinated. Thank you, I'll show myself out now."

"Picked up our Christmas tree from the lot today AND my wife hasn't shaved in 3 weeks. Noble fir in the streets. Noble fur in the sheets."

"So, a female friend asked me for my honest, unbiased opinion of her... ...on a scale from 1 to 10. I looked her up and down and said, quickly, ""You're an eight."" I think she peed a little."

"I bet most of business school is spent teaching students how to confidently swivel in big leather chairs."

"Apparently Mindy McCready shot herself. It's unusual for a woman to use a gun but... ...Guys Do It All The Time."