57299

Joke of the Day

"For lunch today, I think I will have a blistering hot bowl of ice cold soup. Thanks microwave."

"I am so dwarf that... I am so dwarf that people don't take me seriously enough to win any competition other than stand up comedy!"

"What do batman and 16 atoms of sodium have in common? Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na Na"

"""LOOK AT ME, I'M AN ASSHOLE!"" - People in yellow cars."

"I went out last night with a group of enthusiastic weavers. Unfortunately they had to rush off to meet a looming deadline."

"What's the difference between a Volvo and a Mercedes? Princess Diana wouldn't be caught dead in a Volvo"

"How did the knight know that his armor was made in China? He found a chink in it."

"It's fun to go up to people sitting in the mall having a job interview and shout, ""The cocaine you sold me yesterday was the bomb-dot-com!"""

"Dirty Dancing is my favorite movie about a girl who cannot dance at all, but wins a dance competition because her partner has a great mullet"

"ME: genie, i wish i was dead GENIE: [makes me dead then brings me back to life] ok u have two wishes left ME: i dont think u understood"