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Joke of the Day

"A friend of mine was reading an article on a newspaper talking about the dangers of drinking, after that he stopped doing what he loved... ...reading."

"My dick was in the Guinness book of World Records Until I got kicked out of the library :("

"I used to be in a band called The Prevention We hoped people would say we were better than The Cure."

"What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? ISIS. Definitely ISIS."

"Dear Santa, My ex was very naughty this year. But I was very good. So you can just send me all his presents."

"What has 5 balls and rapes the poor? The lottery."

"Why can't a schizophrenic kleptomaniac become President? He always takes office clothes."

"So this is what it's like to grow up. Fucking bullshit is what it is."

"""Boo!"" -- cow with a cold"

"I don't make spelling and grammatical errors I invent new languages. You ignorant Count."