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Joke of the Day

"My dad likes to come to my office & tell the receptionist he's my parole officer in case you were wondering how I turned out like this."

"I am kinda scared of 2015 because 2+0+1+5=8. The exact number of nipples Hitler would have if he had 6 more nipples."

"A man walks into a doctors office with a duck on his head... Duck says ""doc, you gotta get this guy out of my ass!"""

"He has the grocery Liszt What did the musician say to his wife when he went out to the supermarket? I'm going Chopin, I'll be Bach in a minuet."

"What did the gay crocodile do when made the head coach of a thirsty football team? He gave them GatorAIDS"

"""If I should die before I wake, please don't draw any dicks on my face."""

"What did the politician with a cold talk about at his meeting? The important tissues. (I know it sucks, I just made it up)"

"After the recent wave of Trump primary victories, what did Nancy Reagan request for her funeral before she died? To be laid to rest beside the remains of the Republican party"

"How very is a very good dinosaur? Very. (Thought of this idk if it was good)"

"No end in sight... I can't see an end. I have no control. I don't think there's any escape. I don't even have a home anymore. Time for a new keyboard."