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Joke of the Day

"I just released a new fragrance, and the people on this elevator are not happy about it."

"What do you call 2 crackers arguing? White noise."

"What do vampires make sandwiches out of? Self-raising dead."

"""I am inspiring"" -Russian guy who's about to get kicked out of his spy ring"

"I was gonna tell a priest joke... But it would probably rub some kids the wrong way."

"If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital."

"The Final Jeopardy category is: Movies. The answer is: 300. The correct question is: on a scale of 1 to 10, how gay was that movie?"

"Some people may call me an agnostic but I'm a God-fearing man -- afraid she might exist"

"How many hipsters does it take to change a light bulb? It's some really obscure number. You've probably never even heard of it."

"What's the difference between Rush Limbaugh and the Hindenburg? One's an overblown Nazi gasbag and the other's a dirigible."