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Joke of the Day

"The Final Jeopardy category is: Movies. The answer is: 300. The correct question is: on a scale of 1 to 10, how gay was that movie?"

"What did the food say to the other food, while inside a stomach? I won't digest yet."

"Why does a vampire clean his teeth three times a day? To prevent bat breath."

"Now that HBO has a partnership with Sesame Street we'll finally learn how to spell the names of all the Game of Thrones characters."

"""Two birds with one stone, how about all the birds"" God thinks, hurling an asteroid toward Earth"

"I'm not saying I'm smarter than Steve Jobs or anything but I would have made the iPhone charger about 5 feet longer..."

"you either die ... hating Justin Bieber or you live long enough to see yourself become a fan"

"When I said I missed you, I meant with a hammer"

"1day I'll be thankful my daughter is an independent iron willed human w/an unrelenting strong voice,but not today, not in this grocery store"

"""What do missiles, camels, and common fetishes have in common?"" ""...What?"" "" -Toes."" ""Out. Just get out."""