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Joke of the Day

"[running from cop] *cop catches me* ""Get on the ground or I'll taze ya"" *pulls jellyfish from pocket* ""Look they were all out of tazers"""

Next Joke
 
"What is a government mandate? When Obama and Biden go out to dinner together."
"Where does the general keep his armies? In his sleevies."
"Why did the vampire enjoy ballroom dancing? He could really get into the vaultz."
"Beernuts and Deernuts What's the difference between Beernuts and Deernuts? Beernuts are $8.95 and Deernuts are under a buck!"
"Its snowing really hard... It is really hard to see anyone in the outside world. I guess you could say I'm Snowden."
"An Optimist sees the glass as half-full. A PEZimist fills it with candy."
"It amazes me how much exercise and extra fries sound alike."
"What do Jesus and your mom have in common? They both got nailed all night."
"Sorry, sarcasm falls out of my mouth, like stupidity falls out of yours."