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Joke of the Day
"Why did the vampire enjoy ballroom dancing? He could really get into the vaultz."
Next Joke
"Did you hear about the dyslexic agnostic insomniac? He lies awake at night wondering if there is a dog."
"What do you call imitation Vietnamese noodle soup? Faux."
"Need relationship advice! I'm trying to get my wife into role playing but she gets really upset when I suggest she be played by Emma Stone."
"Sometimes I put a vase of flowers outside to let other flowers know that if they try to be prettier than me, I'll cut their legs off too."
"What do you call a robot whose brain is unplugged? Mentally dis-cabled."
"What do you call a person who makes a clever point during a discussion at another's expense? A Douche"
"Cheap date idea: cut open a pack of hotdogs & squeeze the juice over your lover's body then summon a peregrine falcon with your mind."
"Kim Jong Un walked into a bar The North Korean media still said he got a gold for high jump"
"A visibly exhausted man walks into a bar and orders a drink. ""Long day?"" asks the bartender. ""No, all days are 24 hours long"" the man replies, amazed at how uneducated the bartender is."