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Joke of the Day

"People that start a sentence with ""Now I'm not trying to be rude"" are either about to be rude, or about to sing Ignition by R Kelly."

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"What does a Browns fan say to a robber? I hate the steelers."
"How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Hand the bitch a shovel"
"So I got caught copying my friends test in class... I think the teacher heard my Xerox machine."
"What does a Japanese girl ride?? Niisan."
"Long term health risks include death... DOESN'T THAT END YOUR TERM?!?!?!"
"Zweireiher Mantel Trenchcoat Hee Grand Damen Fruehling Herbst elegant Zweireiher Mantel Trenchcoat"
"Whats the difference between normal barbie and divorced barbie? The divorced barbie is $399 because it comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's furniture, etc."
"Me: you like that? *takes out trash* Wife: ooooh Me *starts vacuuming the living room* Wife: oh my god, don't stop"
"I pulled a disabled girl in the pub last night... ...the handle on her wheelchair was caught in my jacket."
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