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Joke of the Day

"Long term health risks include death... DOESN'T THAT END YOUR TERM?!?!?!"

"It's not enough to get up at 8 am & freeze on the soccer field. One must also scream from the sidelines so everyone knows you care."

"You're 16 and miss the 90's? Yeah, I'm sure those were the best 3 years of your life. Shitting in your pants and eating crayons."

"A little kid came up to me and said... ""I have two mommies."" ""Really?"", I said. ""Your parents are lesbians?"" ""No, my mom's just a schizophrenic."""

"What do you do when your girlfriend starts smoking? Slow down"

"Whats the difference between a White lie and a Black lie? Half to none of the time."

"*logs onto Facebook* *sees 347 ultrasound pictures* *logs off forever*"

"I went through an expensive and painful procedure yesterday, having had my spine and both testicles removed. Still, some of the wedding presents were fantastic."

"How do you help a woman going through menopause You hit menoplay"

"Why do they call it a ""shit-eating grin""? I don't think I'd be smiling if I was eating shit."