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Joke of the Day

"What's the worst part about viewing porn on a windows computer? The sticky keys."

"What's the difference between Hillary's staff and Bill's staff? Bill's staff waited until after the election to suck."

"My girlfriend is due in two weeks. I can't wait til she's born."

"Eleven: We're not allowed to wear spaghetti straps at school. The straps must be at least 2 inches wide. Six: Oh yeah, lasagna straps."

"What do you call a person from South America with a walking assist? Mexicane."

"I wanted to shave my testicles... But I didn't have the balls."

"*full moon emerges from behimd clouds* nno--nonono it cant be...RUN. FAR AWAY FROM ME. NOW. IM A-- IM A-- *turns into bungalow* IM A WAREHOUSE"

"What happened when the sausage came in first? An announcer said, ""Ladies and gentlemen, we have a wiener!"""

"I bought my friend an elephant for their room. They said ""thanks!"" I said ""don't mention it."""

"What has two thumb drives full of porn and forgot his laptop was hooked up to the projector?"