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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend is due in two weeks. I can't wait til she's born."

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"What's long, black and doesn't work? The unemployment line."
"What's 6 inches long, 2 inches wide and drives women wild? A $100 bill."
"Wine improves with age, I improve with wine."
"FREE NUDE SHOW: Walk into a women's tanning salon and yell ""FIRE!"""
"A man goes to the pharmacy to buy condoms. The pharmacist asks: Do you need a bag? He answers: She isn't that ugly!"
"Theory: The Winter Olympics were invented by the cowbell industry."
"Police: Cover me Rookie: ok [pulls out guitar] Every little thing she does is magic"
"What do you get when you take Viagra with an iron supplement? an erection that points north."
"Did you hear about the guy who got his tongue cut out by the mafia? Never mind. It's a tasteless joke."