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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a person from South America with a walking assist? Mexicane."

"1. Rage against the machine. 2. Check to make sure machine is plugged in. 3. Apologize to the toaster for the misunderstanding."

"What's a poor person favorite meal? Sleep."

"[job interview] ""I'll never hire you"" ME: [swordfighting a field mouse] Is it cuz I'm swordf- NO IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE LOSING TO A FIELD MOUSE"

"Why Does Ariel wear seashells? Because she can't fit into D-shells"

"What did the farmer tell the hoe? Let's get dirty."

"Tired of hearing the same song over and over again? Try being in marching band."

"How many drugs did Charlie Sheen take? Enough to kill two and a half men."

"I spent last night shouting at my psychiatrist Long story short he's convinced I have delusions of being a pony... I'd tell you more, but I'm a little hoarse."

"I once found an egg with two chickens in it That was my best yolk."