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Joke of the Day
"Someone needs to tell attractive people that their stories are boring."
Next Joke
"You're like school in the summertime - no class."
"Staying at my daughter's place again this weekend. Can't wait till 3am so I can wake her to tell her there's a moth in my room."
"To be honest, I panic a bit right before I have to pronounce Worcestershire sauce"
"I promise to remain the same grounded, gracious, friend I've always been after winning $7 from Powerball #dreams"
"20/__ -- Cyclops with perfect vision"
"Why didn't they use Black Phosphorous? It doesn't work."
"Tectonic Plates One tectonic plate said to the other, ""I'm addicted to crack"". The other said, ""It's your fault"""
"My mother is the strongest woman I know. You should see how far she could throw a shoe."
"I wasn't going to follow you but that bible verse in your bio totally changed my mind."