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Joke of the Day

"Lawyer: ""What is your date of birth?"" Witness: ""July 15th."" Lawyer: ""What year?"" Witness: ""Every year."""

"I thought I was getting a car for christmas... turns out all I got was a toy Yoda"

"""Hi. I'm beautiful and love football and snuggling. Sucks about your broken wiener."" -Viagra commercials"

"A well-known doctor recently passed away and is having a funeral this weekend. There will be no coffin at the funeral."

"No child donuts left behind."

"A man orders soup at a restaurant. The waiter sets his plate down and he sees a fly in the bowl... So he asks the waiter, ""What's this fly doing in my soup?"" The waiter responds, ""The backstroke."""

"What's the worst part about eating vegetables? Swallowing the wheelchair."

"My doctor said I can't lift more than ten pounds... Can you help me pee?"

"So, what if Mohammed does a self portrait?"

"How do you kill a one legged fox? Have it run across Canada. (maybe only Canadians will get this)"