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Joke of the Day

"""Hi. I'm beautiful and love football and snuggling. Sucks about your broken wiener."" -Viagra commercials"

"I like my women how I like my steak.... Pink in the middle and not bloody. *I'll see myself out*"

"If Jesus appears to you... Ask him to bevel-cut a jack rafter onto a door header. If he doesn't know what you mean, that's an imposter Jesus."

"What causes something to go up and then down? Viagra falls"

"What's the difference between a smoker and a crossfitter? Most smokers know and acknowledge the fact that they're slowly killing themsleves."

"Today in an elevator, I got off on my floor, hugged the person next to me & said, ""You seem like a alotta fun. We should keep in touch.""."

"Where do terrorists store their money? In the West Bank"

"Parallel lines have so much in common... It's a shame they'll never meet"

"My grandfather had his tongue shot off in the war. We could never get him to talk about it."

"What is the difference between a priest and a pedophile? A pedophile does not get tax exemptions for raping young boys."