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Joke of the Day

"Why did u shoot ur wife ? Judge:why did u shoot ur wife instead of shootingher lover? Methew:Your honour, it's easier to shoot a woman once, than shooting one man every week."

"Don't beat your children... Give them informative physical connections."

"*job interview HR: Can you name one of your strengths? Me: Sure. I'll call it Giselle."

"So a rhino walks into a bar... and several patrons pay their tabs and leave because they see the danger in this situation."

"Doctor Doctor I keep seeing an insect spinning around. Don't worry it's just a bug that's going around !doc"

"I've been reading a book about anti gravity I just can't put it down!"

"You find love when you're not looking for it, and you can't find it when you really want to. It's sh!t like this that makes me drink."

"Im on the verge of starting my passion, a childrens sporting goods store Little Dicks"

"Does anyone know how much a blimp is worth? I was going to google it, but I was worried it wouldn't account for inflation."

"A wise man once said that nothing really dies, it just comes back in a new form Then he died."