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Joke of the Day

"A person wearing a 'Snitches Get Stitches Shirt' I walked up to him and asked him where he got it. He said, ""At the local mall"" I beat his ass up."

"What do you do with an elephant with 3 balls? Walk him and pitch to the rhino."

"What does the country of Brazil and tent sex have in common? Camp penis."

"911: What's your emergency? Me: He text me first. Just to say hi. What do I do?! 911: Be cool Me: I sent him a list of baby names instead"

"Nurse: Doctor there is a man in the waiting room with a glass eye named Brown. Doctor: What does he call his other eye?"

"Club Sandwiches... ...Not Seals"

"Sometimes I put a ""for sale"" sign in my neighbor's yard and pray the power of suggestion works."

"What is Harry Potters favorite way to get down a hill? Walking (punchline in comments)"

"Dying husband asks his wife: Our 7th son always looked different from the other 6, did he have a different father?"" Wife (crying): Yes! Husband: Who? Wife: You! Husband Dies."

"It's okay to smoke weed in the rain, but don't in hail"