56577

Joke of the Day

"Starting a Psychofit class. Basically, I sneak up on people showering and chase em with a knife til they achieve their desired body weight."

Next Joke
 
"When I'm having a shitty day sometimes I go to WalMart and just smile and show off my teeth."
"Whats the difference between a black guy and a bench? A bench can support a family"
"Q: Why are orchestra intermissions only twenty minutes long? A: So the violists don't need to be retrained."
"Why couldn't the NSA whistleblower leave Moscow? He got snowed in."
"Bought cheap helium gas. Now boyfriend's annoying snoring doesn't make me want to kill him, but my fear of clowns has tripled.."
"A co-pilot walks into a library and asks for a number of books on suicide. The librarian says ""Are you going to take them all out with you""? ""Hmmm"" he replies ""That's a good idea"""
"Hear about that kidnapping? He woke up"
"How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb, and the other to hold the penis -- LADDER. I meant ladder."
"Why did Adele cross the road #To say hello from the other side#"