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Joke of the Day

"How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a lightbulb? Two. One to change the lightbulb, and the other to hold the penis -- LADDER. I meant ladder."

"I like Ohio's abbreviation because any address sounds like you just realized where you are and you're not super pleased about it."

"Whats black,white,black,white,black,white,red? A nun falling down the stairs on her period."

"Don't put all my eggs in one basket? Nice try, basket industry."

"Did you gu[FLASH AD]ys read that ar[ROLLOVER FLASH AD]ticle on Wi[FLASHING FLASH AD]red on how the iPad really need[MOVING FLASH AD]s Flash?"

"Burning Man Build a man a fire, and you keep him warm for a day. Set a man on fire, and you keep him warm for the rest of his life."

"What do banks and the US government have in common? They both deal with checks and balances."

"What's Beethoven's favorite fruit? Elton John."

"Jurassic World: A generically modified smart 50 ft monster has turned violent and this, for some reason, took people by surprise."

"I like my sex like I like my math Discrete"