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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a skank playing ""H.O.R.S.E?"" She missed two shots, so she's a ho. I'll leave now."

"Wife: I'll just have a salad. Waiter: and for you, sir? Me: I'll be giving her half of my food."

"""Honey why are there broken condoms on our sofa?"" ""Shhhhh, our kids'll hear you"""

"Why did Mr. T reject Marxism? Because Marx said ""You have nothing to lose but your chains."" *^(Manifest der Kommunistischen Partei - 1848)*"

"Yogi Berra has officially gone home. But he should have gone to 1st for the force out. Rip yogi Berra."

"Trump should have called his rally in Chicago a ""job fair"" non of the protesters would've been there"

"I'm going out with two anorexic girls, Two birds, one stone"

"Woman of my dreams I don't sleep so I can't find her!"

"Spoiler Alert: In the season finale of Game of Thrones, YOU die."

"I'm old school when it comes to video games and by that I mean I turn into a senior citizen who yells ""which one am I?"" every 30 seconds."