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Joke of the Day

"Trump should have called his rally in Chicago a ""job fair"" non of the protesters would've been there"

"If we're talking & I start running my nails up & down your arm, I either really like you, or I'm looking for an artery close to the surface."

"What do turtles do for fun? Play hide and shell."

"I tweeted about Darth Vader wearing Depends earlier. Since then, two Vaders and have ""followed"" me. I'm getting choked tonite. Help."

"You know you're awesome when Facebook suggests people you have already had sex with."

"So much has changed since my girlfriend told me we're having a baby... My name, address and telephone number."

"I'm an adult, and I can eat whatever I want whenever I want, and I wish someone would take this power from me."

"What do you call a nice Canadian meal on a colorful roof? Poutina."

"Cure for AIDS Doctor : Eat lots of raw peppers, and spicy food. Patient : How will that cure my AIDS? Doctor: It won't, but now you know what your asshole is for."

"Always keep an axe by the front door so I can give the other Jehovah something awesome to witness."