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Joke of the Day

"My dick is so average... It's struggling with student loan debt but doesn't even use it's degree... Or Can handle about 5-6 beers before it's totally useless Or Its like the Toyota corolla of dicks"

"What would you call Hitler if he had a child? A DILF"

"I feel as useless as a Kardashian sister's library card."

"I don't have a gf, but I do know a woman who in the car often asks where this is going so I show her the GPS & she gets mad for some reason."

"""Sleep tight. Don't let the bedbugs bite."" --Guy who doesn't understand how sleep works"

"Why was the horse happy to come home after being released from the hospital? Because of his stable condition."

"What do you call a pig thief? A hamburglar!"

"What's the difference between a religion and a cult? The number of followers"

"I love a room with a fire place it sets the tone for a romantic night, drinking wine slow dancing, burning evidence."

"What do you call a blind, mentally handicapped, quadriplegic? You can call him whatever you want; it's not like he's going to get up and do anything about it."