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Joke of the Day

"My dick is so average... It's struggling with student loan debt but doesn't even use it's degree... Or Can handle about 5-6 beers before it's totally useless Or Its like the Toyota corolla of dicks"

"How do you sink a submarine full of blondes? you knock on the door."

"Live today like it's your last. But pay your bills and use a condom just in case it isn't."

"Had trouble sleeping today. They added a trumpeter to this morning's church service."

"Two computers are on a date. One says to the other, ""i'm not your type."""

"Save a horse. Ride a cowboy. Use your best judgment with a centaur."

"Alexa, take down my Christmas decorations."

"Greece announced they are going to default on their nearly 1.8 billion dollar loan Who would've thought the country that invented the philosophy major would be broke?"

"Chuck Norris is the reason for JAL flight 123"

"I wear a stethoscope, so that in the case of a medical emergency, I can teach people a valuable lesson about assumptions."