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Joke of the Day
"Live today like it's your last. But pay your bills and use a condom just in case it isn't."
Next Joke
"What do you call a Mexican knight? The Chosen Juan."
"When someone yells ""STOP!"" I never know if it's Hammertime or if I should collaborate and listen."
"What do you call a quadriplegic in the ocean? Bob..."
"Duct tape can't fix stupidity, but it can muffle it."
"I don't need a flashlight to find my way around in the dark. I have shins for that."
"Q: Why was the insect kicked out of the wildlife preserve? A: It was a litterbug."
"What's the difference between a Chickpea and a Garbanzo bean? You wouldn't pay money to have a Garbanzo bean on your face!"
"It would have been way more anticlimactic if the video game had been called ""Where in the World is Carmen? San Diego."""
"*ring* Her: Hello, Sex Addict Hotline Me: Help please Her: Ok sir. Let's take some breaths. Deep. Slow. In and out Me: THIS ISN'T HELPING"