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Joke of the Day

"I wonder about the people who unfollow after one day. What were they expecting, Louis C.K.?"

"I broke up with my girlfriend today Now I need to buy that movie again!"

"If people winked in real life as much as they do on the Internet, the world would be about 542.67% creepier."

"How does the Karate Kid pleasure himself? Wax off"

"I asked her if she had ever tried 69 I asked my grandma if she had ever tried 69. She said, ""No, but I have done 53 -- that's all the sailors I could screw in one night."""

"Reasons Pluto is so cold: 3) It's far from the sun 2) Its atmosphere is too thin to trap heat. 1) It found out we said it's not a planet."

"What did the guitarist say to the magician... Pick a chord, any chord."

"A sarcastic thumbs-up is a good substitute for the middle finger."

"Why did the H kill himself? Because the G had."

"I used to be addicted to soap But it's okay now, I am clean."